


Unforgivable

by Simply_Layla



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-01-14 00:24:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1245805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_Layla/pseuds/Simply_Layla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s fine, Lou. Everything will be fine. Trust me.” And that broke the dam. Tears started streaming down Louis’ face and his breaths started coming in short gasps. Everything was shattering, because he did trust Harry. He trusted Harry more than anyone on this planet. Harry was always there for him, and he knew Louis better than the older boy knew himself sometimes. Louis trusted Harry with every part of himself, and he had never regretted one second of it. And here Harry was taking every bit of that trust and throwing it in his face like it never mattered.</p><p>--</p><p>Or Harry comes back drunk one night while they're on tour and completely ruins everything. At least Zayn is there to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write something, and this just kind of happened. It's been a while since I've seriously written anything, so I hope this is up to par. Also, all mistakes are my own. Enjoy! :)

Louis woke up to the sound of the hotel room door slamming shut, a thud, and a string of curses. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over to look at the clock on the nightstand, groaning when he read that it was half three in the morning. There was another thud followed by Harry’s slurred voice cursing again. 

“What the hell, Haz? Think you could be any fucking louder? Some of us are trying to sleep,” Louis said as he pushed his head back into his pillow. 

“S’not my fucking fault the room won’t stop moving.” Louis let out a small laugh and looked over at his best mate. 

“The room’s not moving, love; you’re just pissed. You look like hell by the way.” Harry shot him a glare before starting the process of stripping out of his ridiculously tight clothing. Louis simply rolled his eyes and laid back down on his side, hoping Harry wasn’t set on being a chatty drunk tonight. They had an interview in the morning, and while Harry could run on no sleep, Louis could not. He felt the bed dip behind him and Harry’s arms wrap around his middle, pulling him close. 

“You do have your own bed, y’know,” Louis said jokingly as he pushed himself closer to Harry’s body heat knowing the other boy wouldn’t be moving till morning. It wasn’t the first time they had spooned, not by a long shot, and Louis didn’t really mind it. He liked having someone in the bed with him, and really having a naked Harry Styles spoon you stopped being shocking after the first five times it happens. He got used to it years ago.

“Like yours better,” Harry grumbled against his neck causing Louis to smile. 

“Diva,” Louis snarked back as he shut his eyes, ready to go back to sleep. Harry pinched his stomach and tightened his arms, pulling Louis flush against his body. Harry groaned lowly, and Louis’ eyes opened slightly when he felt Harry’s half hard cock against his bum. This really wasn’t anything shocking either. They’re boys. Awkward erections happen; it’s no big deal. Louis closed his eyes again and settled deeper into his pillow. It didn’t get weird until Harry started rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ chest before sliding one hand down to clutch at the older boy’s hip. Harry’s always been a handsy person in general, but never this much so while he’s naked and Louis is just in his pants. Louis had decided to ignore it and write it off to Harry being drunk, when he felt Harry start to grind his erection against his ass. This had definitely never happened before, and as much as he loves Harry, there’s a huge difference between cuddling with your best mate and letting said best mate get off on you. 

“Cut it out, Harry,” Louis said as he tried to squirm away from the younger boy. Harry groaned and tightened his grip around Louis, rolling his hips harder into the smaller boy. Louis tried to pry Harry’s arms off of him, but it just caused him to grip tighter. Harry had always been stronger than him, but it had never really bothered Louis until now.

“Shit, you have a nice ass, Lou,” Harry slurred out between soft moans. The younger boy gripped Louis’ hip even tighter, and the older boy knew there would be bruises in the shape of Harry’s fingers the next day. 

“Harry, seriously, you’re not being funny. Let go of me.” Louis tried to jerk out of the younger boy’s arms again, but Harry just threw one of his legs over both of Louis’, further trapping him. 

“Calm down, Lou. I just wanna have some fun. Haven’t gotten laid in ages.” One of Harry’s hands gripped the waistband of Louis’ pants and yanked them down just enough to expose his bum, before he trailed one of his fingers along Louis’ crack, causing the older boy’s body to violently jerk. Tears started to burn in the corners of the Louis’ eyes when he realized exactly what Harry had in mind. 

“I don’t want this! Please, just stop!” panic laced Louis’ words, but Harry just laughed deep in his chest, tightening his grip on Louis’ body and pushing his hips forward to brush his erection against Louis’ crack. 

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Lou. You’re gonna enjoy it just as much as I am.” Harry pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of the older boy’s neck before pushing him onto his stomach and rolling completely on top of him. The panic grew in Louis’ chest, and he felt like everything was collapsing around him. 

“Harry, please. Just let me go, and we’ll pretend like this never happened. I promise!” Louis’ words were rushed, and he was this close to breaking down in tears. He didn’t understand. None of this made sense. And a part of him was praying that the panic in his voice would break through into Harry’s alcohol ridden mind and make him stop. He just wanted him to stop. 

“It’s fine, Lou. Everything will be fine. Trust me.” And that broke the dam. Tears started streaming down Louis’ face and his breaths started coming in short gasps. Everything was shattering, because he did trust Harry. He trusted Harry more than anyone on this planet. Harry was always there for him, and he knew Louis better than the older boy knew himself sometimes. Louis trusted Harry with every part of himself, and he had never regretted one second of it. And here Harry was taking every bit of that trust and throwing it in his face like it never mattered. His body jolted again when he felt Harry pry his cheeks apart and rub the head of his dick against Louis’ entrance, precum the only form of moisture whatsoever. 

“No, Harry, don’t! Please, st--” Louis’ pained yell filled the room when the larger boy entered him harshly. Harry only made it in half way before the lack of moisture forced him to pull out a bit so that he could rub some of his own spit over his shaft to ease the process. After a few more shallow thrusts, he was able to rest his hips against the smaller boy’s bum, letting out a satisfied groan at the wonderfully tight feeling surrounding him. Louis, on the other hand, felt like he was being torn apart. The pain was unbearable, and he was pretty sure Harry tore something inside him. Harsh, loud sobs were leaving his mouth in an erratic pattern, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t catch his breath. Harry rubbed his thumb against his hip in what would have been a soothing manner in any other situation before pulling out and thrusting back in again. Another loud yell erupted from Louis’ mouth, and Harry slapped a hand over it, squeezing the sides of the smaller boy’s face tightly in the process. 

“Shh. You’re gonna wake up the whole floor,” Harry panted harshly into his ear as he continued to slam into Louis’ body. Louis’ eyes flickered to the door that joined their room to the room that Zayn was staying in, and he let out a muffled sob. Of course the heaviest sleeper on the whole fucking tour had to be the one that was just on the other side of that thin door. He could scream as loud as he wanted, and Zayn would probably never wake up. Louis’ heart fell further into the pit of his stomach. No one was coming to save him. Harry moved his hand to get a better grip on Louis’ hips. 

“Stop, please.” Harry acted as if he didn’t even hear the other boy, and Louis’ wanted to die. No one was coming to save him, and Harry didn’t give two fucks about what he wanted. A haze clouded over Louis’ mind at the realization. It was easier that way to pretend that it wasn’t happening. He vaguely heard Harry muttering in his ear. 

“God, you’re so fucking tight. You’re fucking fantastic, Lou.” Louis closed his eyes and tried to block out everything the younger boy was saying. And it worked for a while. It dulled the pain, and for a second it was like he wasn’t even there. Like Harry had never even came back from the club that night. Then he felt a sharp pain against the side of his head and a harsh, “Would you quit fucking screaming already?” And then the hand was covering his mouth again. He didn’t even realize he had been screaming. He let himself drift off again, and he thought about interviews and tour dates and Zayn walking through that fucking door to pull Harry off of him. 

“Fuck, I’m close.” Registered in Louis’ ear, and then he felt Harry’s cum coating his insides and the other boy collapsed on top of him. A minute or so later, Louis could hear Harry’s soft snores right next to his ear. 

It was over, but it really wasn’t. Harry was still on top of him. And he was still inside of him, rapidly softening. And Louis still couldn’t move. And everything was hurting so fucking bad. And the only thought going through his head was ‘Gethimoff, gethimoff, gethimoff.’ And he was sobbing loudly. Maybe he was screaming. He didn’t really know. He just wanted Harry off of him. 

“Waz goin' on in there?” Louis’ eyes snapped to the door that connected to Zayn’s room, and everything stopped for a second. 

“Z-Zayn?” His voice sounded wrecked and nothing like his own.

“Lou? You ok?” 

“No.” Nothing was ok. It probably never would be again. It was impossible for it to be.

“I’m coming in.” And Louis was never happier about the fact that they never bothered to keep those damn doors locked. “What’s wro--” Zayn paused at the doorway, hand falling from his eye where it was rubbing the sleep out of it, and looked around the room like the world had just fucking ended right in front of his eyes. “Fuck.” Zayn was frozen as he took in the sight of Louis pinned under a naked Harry and how completely wrecked Louis looked. His face was stuck in a cross between horrified realization and confused disbelief. And while any other time Louis would understand that Zayn needed time to process what he was seeing, Harry was still on him. In him. And Louis needed him gone now.

“Gethimoff, gethimoff, gethimoff, gethimoff.” And the pleading tone of Louis’ voice was all it took to spring Zayn into action. He quickly walked over to the bed and grabbed Harry’s shoulders, pulling his dead weight off the smaller boy with a small amount of difficulty. Louis let out a choked sob when Harry’s cock left his body, and Zayn immediately let go of Harry’s body, only taking a second to make sure the boy didn’t wake up when he fell to the floor before turning his attention to Louis.  
“I’m sorry. Sorry.” His words were rushed and his eyes panicked as they darted around Louis’ body before they settled on his bum. “Shit, Lou, you’re bleeding. You’re bleeding a lot.” The younger boy went to reach for him before pulling his hand back and instead running it through his hair nervously. “What the hell happened?” Louis tried to curl himself into a ball, but pain shot straight up his spine, making him regret the decision instantly. Zayn reached towards him again when the older boy cried out, but his hands once again went to pull at his hair, not quite sure if he was allowed to touch Louis. Louis opened and closed his mouth a few times before looking up at Zayn. 

“I asked him to stop. Why didn’t he stop?” Louis sounded so young, and Zayn had to stop himself from breaking into tears right then, because this was not about him. It wasn’t. 

“I-I don’t, oh God—I don’t know. Are you ok? Fuck, that’s a stupid question!” Zayn pulled at his hair again and ran a hand over his face, trying to compose himself. He took a deep breath before talking again. “Lou, we need to get you to a doctor. There’s a lot of blood here.” Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He really wanted to say no, but Zayn was right. There could be something seriously wrong with him. 

“Ok,” he whispered. Zayn leaned down as if he was going to run his fingers through Louis’ hair. He stopped himself and turned to walk towards the door

“I-I’ll go get Paul. He can get a car and take us.” Louis’ hand snapped up and grabbed Zayn’s wrist before he could even get two steps away. Zayn gave him a questioning look, and Louis took a deep breath before flicking his eyes down to look at Harry who was still unconscious on the ground. 

“Don’t—please, don’t leave me alone with h-him.” Zayn could have smacked himself. He had completely forgotten about Harry. He looked down at the boy on the floor and had to fight every nerve in his body that was screaming at Zayn to kill him. But now wasn’t the time. He had to take care of Louis. 

“Shit, Sorry. I wasn’t even—God, I’m doing this all wrong!” Zayn pulled at his hair again, before composing himself and turning back towards Louis completely. “Ok, sorry. Let’s get you dressed, yeah? And then we’ll go get Paul together.” Louis let out a breath he forgot he was holding and nodded his head. He tried to sit up so that he could get off of this god forsaken bed, and his whole body instantly felt like it was on fire. He whimpered and fell back into a lying position. 

“It hurts, Z,” he gasped out through his clenched teeth. Zayn moved closer to him and kneeled down beside the bed. 

“Here, I’ll just—can I touch you? Is that ok?” Louis nodded, and Zayn gently grabbed his friend’s arms. He slowly helped Louis stand up and pulled the smaller boys pants up from around his thighs. Shame instantly hit Louis like a ton of bricks. Zayn disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a hand towel. He folded it up a few times before pushing it in between Louis’ bum and his pants with a mumbled “So you don’t bleed through.” And, God, Louis wanted to die. There was blood and god knows what else leaking out of him and Zayn had seen. He had seen everything. He had seen him lying under Harry with the other boy’s cock up his ass. He had seen how fucking weak and useless he was. Zayn was probably thinking how pathetic he was. Louis should have been able to fight Harry off of him. He should have been ready for the attack. He should have done something. But it was Harry. How was he supposed to expect his best mate to do something like this?

“There, all dressed.” Louis looked down at his body. He hadn’t even noticed Zayn slipping him into joggers, a hoodie, and trainers. He wanted to say something. He wanted to thank Zayn for sticking around to help him. For caring. But he couldn’t find the words. 

“I don’t understand.” And Louis wasn’t sure if he meant that he didn’t understand why Harry did what he did or if he didn’t understand why Zayn hadn’t run out of the room the moment he saw what had happened. Maybe both. And then Zayn was hugging him tight. And his body wanted to flinch, he could feel it, but he didn’t. Because this was Zayn, and he immediately felt stupid for questioning why the younger boy was still here. And then he felt even more stupid, because he never would have thought that Harry would have hurt him in a million years, and look where that got him. But he didn’t care. He needed this right now. 

“I know, babes. I don’t either.” Zayn’s voice was shaky as he rested his lips against Louis’ hair and rubbed his hand up and down his back. It made Louis feel small and protected, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking the one question that had been running though his head since Harry had blatantly ignored the pleads falling from his mouth. 

“What did I do wrong?” Zayn’s breath hitched, and Louis felt something wet hit the top of his head. He was pretty sure that Zayn was crying, but that was ok. If the wet spot next to his face on Zayn’s shirt was anything to go by, Louis was crying too. Maybe he never stopped in the first place. Zayn took a deep breath before putting his hands on Louis’ shoulders and gently pushing him away slightly. He moved his hands to cradle the sides of Louis’ face and gently used his thumbs to wipe the tears that were gathered there away. Zayn’s eyes were red and his cheeks a little blotchy, but other than that he looked completely composed for the first time all night. He looked confident in the words that were about to come out of his mouth.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lou. Nothing. The only person who deserves any blame here is Harry. Not you. Never you.” Zayn had spit out Harry’s name like it was poison, and for some reason, that was the most comforting thing Louis had heard all night. It meant that Zayn really didn’t blame Louis for anything, and Louis didn’t know how desperately he needed that confirmation until then. Louis didn’t know what to say to that. He could only nod his head and let Zayn pull him into another hug. 

“C’mon, let’s get you to a doctor. Can you walk?” Louis took a few experimental steps. It was agony and he had a pretty significant limp, but he could manage. He nodded his head slowly. Zayn looked at him hard for a minute before shaking his head. “I’ll carry you. It’s no big deal.” Louis shot him a grateful look and allowed the younger boy to pick him up. Zayn rested one arm around his upper back and the other at his knee, and Louis had to stop himself from thanking him for keeping his hands as far away from his bum as possible. 

Zayn grabbed Louis’ cellphone and wallet from the nightstand and landed a kick to Harry’s body that he didn’t think Louis noticed as they walked out the door and down the hall towards Paul’s room. The comfort of Zayn’s even breathing and steady steps calmed Louis into a dazed state. He didn’t even notice that they had made it to Paul’s room until he heard Zayn bang loudly on the door. They heard a muffled reply, but no sounds of anyone in the room moving. Zayn knocked again. 

“Paul, open up. It’s Zayn and Louis.” They heard a groan and heavy footsteps making their way to the door. 

“This better be good. It’s ass o’clock in the morning,” the man said as he swung the door open. “If this is another one of your stupid pranks, I’ll--” He stopped talking when he really looked at the boys. He took in Zayn’s puffy eyes and Louis’ tensed body and the way they were clinging to each other, and the annoyance immediately fell off his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Lou’s hurt. Real bad. I don’t know—he needs to go to the hospital. He’s bleeding.” Louis dug his face deeper into Zayn’s shoulder in shame. It was one thing for Zayn to know. But now they had to tell Paul. He wanted to disappear. 

“Where’s he--” Zayn cut him off by moving a hand to motion at Louis bum. Confusion flashed on Paul’s face. Why would he be bleeding there? But then Paul took in the way Louis was clutching to Zayn like an anchor, and the way the everything Zayn did seemed to be an attempt to comfort the other the boy, and how if Paul looked close enough he could see a dark finger shaped mark on Louis’ hip peeking out where his hoodie had risen just a little bit. Realization hit the man like a ton of bricks. “Oh God. Ok, let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to apologize for this taking so long to get out. I had a death in the family last week, and It's been really stressful. Secondly, I just want to say that I am absolutely floored by the response this has received! I didn't expect anything like this, but I'm so glad you guys are liking it! And finally, This chapter hasn't been edited, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I'll go in and edit them later if I notice anything terribly awful. Also, I apologize if the content is not up to par, like I said before, stressful week. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“What the hell happened, Zayn?” Paul asked for probably the fifteenth time. Zayn just continued to stare at the door to the private waiting room they were given not long after their arrival. Louis had been with the doctor for almost an hour now, and not knowing what was happening to his friend was driving Zayn crazy. Paul put a hand on the boy’s shoulder and turned him away from the door. “Zayn, I need you to tell me what happened to Louis. I get that you’re worried, but if I don’t know what happened, I can’t keep you boys safe.” Zayn shot the man an apologetic look and turned his attention to his shoes. He hadn’t been purposely ignoring Paul. It’s just he honestly didn’t know what to say.

“Harry,” was the only thing his mind could come up with. Zayn heard Paul drop his coffee cup on the ground and the older man’s sharp intake of breath.

“What?!” When Zayn looked up, he was met by Paul’s shocked expression. He looked like he always did when he was waiting for Zayn and Louis to revel the plot behind their master pranks. But this wasn’t a prank. Paul knew that, even though Zayn could tell the man didn’t want to believe that. Zayn didn’t want to believe it either.

“I know. I would have had a hard time believing it if I wouldn’t have seen it myself. I mean, It’s Harry. I didn’t even know that Harry was capable of hurting people, least of all Louis. But he did. Really bad. And I just—God, Paul, I could have stopped it!” He had tried not to think of that part. He’d tried to just focus on taking care of Louis and not droning over what he could have done. But he couldn’t anymore. Louis had been back there so long, which probably meant he was even more hurt than Zayn thought, and he could have stopped it. For some reason, he really needed Paul to know that.

“What happened isn’t your fault, Zayn.” Paul was looking at him with a mixture of sympathy and confusion, and Zayn wanted to scream. Because Paul always fixes things. That’s his job. But he could never in a million years fix this, and they both knew that.

“No, I know that. I do. It was that fucking bastard. But the first time I woke up, Louis was yelling. Said something like, ‘Seriously, Harry, let me go!’ or something like that. I thought Harry was just messing with him while he was trying to sleep, so I just ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, someone was crying. Lou was. He was practically screaming. He didn’t even fucking sound like himself. And when I walked in the room, Harry was passed out on top of him. And there was all this blood everywhere when I moved him, and Lou couldn’t even fucking move without being in pain. And I could have stopped all of that from happening, but I fucking went back to sleep! I heard him telling Harry to stop, and I went back to sleep. Who fucking does that?!” Zayn was shaking by the end of his outburst, and he’s trying his hardest not to cry. He was supposed to be keeping it together, and he’s been failing miserably.

“I don’t blame you, Z.” He heard Louis’ voice from behind him, and he spun around so fast he almost lost his balance. The older boy was standing by the doorway of the private waiting room with a middle aged woman, who Zayn’s assuming was his doctor. His voice sounded small and was completely lacking the vibrancy that is usually there, but Zayn could tell he was being completely sincere. “I would have thought the same thing. I never would have just assumed that one of us was hurting the other, so stop beating yourself up.” Zayn felt awful that the smaller boy had to hear his freak out, but a small weight lifted off his shoulders after hearing that Louis didn’t hate him for what he did. He walked over to where Louis was standing and carefully put his arm around the boy, pulling him close and planting a kiss on the top of his head.

“Yeah, ok. Thanks.” Louis looked up and gave him a small attempt at a smile, which didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. Zayn cleared his throat before looking at the doctor and then back to Louis. “How did it go? Is everything ok?” Louis nodded up at his doctor before diverting his attention to the ground. The woman cleared her throat before flipping open what Zayn assumed was Louis’ chart.

“Mr. Tomlinson has given me permission to share his medical information with the two of you. He had a pretty large tear in his rectum that required seven stitches that will dissolve within two to three weeks. Until then, it’s best that he stays on a liquid diet for about a week to prevent the stitches opening and infection setting in. Other than that, there’s some pretty bad bruising around his hips and buttocks as well as on his face, as you can see. There were fluids found in the rape kit and that along with photographs of his injuries have been documented, but as of now, Mr. Tomlinson has decided not to press charges.” Zayn’s attention snapped instantly towards his friend, who looked like he was trying to figure out the best way to disappear into the ground.

“What?! Why not? You have everything you need to throw that bastard in jail!” He vaguely heard Paul agreeing with him, but his focus was purely on trying to figure out what the hell Louis was thinking.

“We’ll talk about it later, Zayn,” the smaller man mumbled towards the floor.

“But, Lou-” Louis’ eyes snapped up immediately stopping what was about to come out of Zayn’s mouth. He looked devastated and exhausted and seconds away from falling apart all at once.

“Later. Please,” Louis’ voice cracked, and Zayn couldn’t not listen to him. He nodded his head slowly.

“Ok. Later.” Louis’ gave him the smallest imitation of a smile he could muster before wrapping his arms around his body and looking back down at the ground. The doctor cleared her throat again.

“Right. We’ve prescribed Louis some antibiotics just to make sure an infection doesn’t start and a pretty strong pain reliever, which should help a great deal after the numbing from the stitches wears off. He’ll probably still feel a bit of pain though due to the size of the tear. We’ve taken blood so that we can test for STDs; the results of which should be back within the week. We’ll contact Mr. Tomlinson as soon as the results are in, and if needed we’ll help him find a doctor in whatever city you happen to be in at the time.” She looked over the chart one more time before turning her attention back to Louis. “And if you change your mind about pressing charges, we keep all the information from the rape kit on file.”

“Ok. Thanks for letting me know,” Louis said quietly, still not lifting his head up.

“You take care of yourself, dear. I’ll be contacting you within the week with your test results.” She squeezed his shoulder and turned towards the door. She was about to open it when Louis’ hand shot out and grabbed her wrist gently.

“Thank you for being so discreet. I don’t know what I would have done if everyone in the hospital would have figured out I was here.” She smiled at him as patted his hand.

“No problem, dear. Just doing my job.” She smiled at him one last time and left the room. Louis wrapped his arms back around his body and then looked up at the two men in the room. Zayn opened his mouth to say something, but Louis cut him off before he could make a sound.

“We’ll talk about it when we get back to the hotel, Zayn. I promise. I just really want to get out of here.” Zayn nodded and held his tongue before walking over to Louis and hugging him tight again. The older boy melted into him but didn’t move his arms from the protective hold they had around his body.

“Alright, lads, let’s get out of here before the wrong person finds out we're here,” Paul said before ushering the boys towards the door.

They took the same series of mainly unused hallways through the hospital to a back entrance where their car was parked. The ride back to the hotel was a bit tense and completely silent. Zayn simply held one of Louis’ hands and actively stopped himself from blurting out any of the million things running through his head. When they arrived back that the hotel, Zayn thanked the heavens that nobody was waiting outside of their hotel, noting that it was almost seven and they usually had at least a few diehard fans already outside waiting to catch a glimpse. Paul walked them back to Zayn’s room after making a quick detour into Louis and Harry’s room to get as much as Louis’ stuff as possible without waking the boy who was still passed out on the floor by Louis’ bed. He sat the bag down by Zayn’s and checked to make sure the lock of the adjoined door was indeed locked before turning his attention to Louis.

“If that prick next door tries anything, call me. Understand?” Louis nodded. “Good. Now I know you lads need to talk, but try to get some sleep. You have an interview with a radio station at ten. I’ll try to get them to cancel, but it being so last minute, I don’t think they’ll budge. I’m sorry, Lou.”

“It’s fine, Paul. I’ll be fine. Thank you. Really, thank you so much.” Paul squeezed the boy’s shoulder and tried to smile.

“No problem, kiddo. Just keep me updated on whether or not you change your mind. If you don’t, I’ll do everything I can to keep him away from you without causing suspicion or anything.” Zayn could tell that Paul knew Louis probably wasn’t going to change his mind. He even looked like he understood why he was doing it. Paul left his room leaving Zayn feeling two hundred percent out of the loop. Louis took a deep breath and looked up at Zayn, waiting for him to ask what he knew was on the tip of Zayn’s tongue.

“What’s this about not pressing charges?” Zayn tried to keep his voice as level as possible despite the fact that he wanted to yell about how Harry deserved to pay for what he did. But he wouldn’t let himself do that. The last thing Louis needed was Zayn losing it all over the place.

“I just—I can’t, Zayn.” Louis looked so small and his eyes were pleading at him to understand, but Zayn didn’t. His mind was moving too fast to understand what was stopping Louis from pressing charges.

“Why not? What he did was disgusting, and he deserves to rot for it,” Zayn was proud of himself for keeping the hysteria he was feeling out of his voice. Louis eyebrows scrunched up and for the first time all night (morning), he looked mad.

“You don’t think I know that? You think I don’t want him to have to pay for what he did to me? I do. So much. But you don’t understand, Zayn. I can’t do it.” Tears were welling up in Louis’ eyes again, and Zayn felt like shit. But he needed to understand. He needed to understand why he couldn’t just go tear Harry’s limbs off of his body.

“Is it because he’s our friend?” Which hadn’t really occurred to Zayn until the words left his mouth. He’d spent the whole night hating everything about Harry fucking Styles, but he was their friend. Their best friend. And yeah, that was a confusing factor to all this. Louis shrugged a little.

“Maybe a little. I can’t really imagine sending Harry to jail, you know? But that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” Louis gave him a look that said he should have figured it out by now, and maybe he would have if he could focus on one thought long enough to process anything that was happening right now.

“Think, Zayn. Think about who we are, and then think about how long it’ll take for the media to get their hands all over this! I don’t want to press charges, because I don’t want to world to know how stupid I was to trust him. I don’t want the world to know how weak I was.” Tears started to fall down Louis’ face, and Zayn felt like a complete twat for not even thinking about the media element of all this getting out. That really should have been the first thing to cross his mind.

“Lou, you weren’t st-”

“Yes, I was! I was stupid, and I was weak. And I don’t want anyone to know that. But it’s not just that. It’s—I just-” Louis just shook his head and brought his hands up to wipe the tears off his face.

“You can tell me, Lou,” Zayn said as he took a few steps closer to his friend. Louis wrapped his arms back around himself and looked up at Zayn.

“What if no one believes me? I know I’ve never officially come out, because management won’t let me. And up until last month, I had El to cover for me, but everyone with two eyes can tell that I’m gay. Then add that to everyone thinking that Harry and I have been together for years. Who’s gonna believe that I didn’t want it? I’ll just be the villain making false accusations, and I can’t deal with people thinking that. I can’t, Zayn. I didn’t want to have sex with Harry.” Louis was nearing hysteria by the end of his outburst, and Zayn’s heart was breaking for his friend. He wrapped the smaller boy in his arms and kissed his hair, rubbing his back to try to calm him down.

“I know that, Lou. I know.” Louis hiccuped and buried his face into the crook of Zayn’s shoulder.

“But no one else will,” the smaller boy whispered sadly. Zayn shook his head.

“Anyone who looks at your medical records will. They had to fucking sew you back together!” Zayn tried to keep the rage he felt because of that out of his voice. Louis pushed himself back from the younger boy slightly, not completely leaving his embrace and making eye contact with Zayn.

“They’re not going to see those, because I’m not pressing charges. I’m not.” Zayn stared at Louis for a while before nodding his head. This what Louis wanted, and Zayn could understand where he was coming from. He didn’t agree with it, but this was Louis’ choice. Some part of this had to be.

“Ok. What’re you gonna do then?” Louis gave him another one of those small attempted smiles.

“We are going to pretend that it never happened. In a few hours, we’re going to go get ready for the interview. If they find out about the hospital, we’ll tell them that I hurt my ankle while we were fucking around or something. That’ll explain the limp if the pain killers don’t work well enough to hide it. I’ll avoid Harry as much as possible, and you and Paul will run interference between us if you need to. And hopefully he was too fucked up to remember what he did. And then we just keep on pretending.” Zayn looked at his friend. He was breaking, and if the only thing Zayn could do to help him was to do this, he would. Helping Louis be ok again mattered more than killing Harry Styles.

“Ok. We’ll pretend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Please let me know what you thought!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to start off by saying a huge thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos! I am truly amazed that so many people are liking this so far. Also, I want to apologize for taking so long, school has been getting in the way with the semester about to end and everything. I really hope you guys like this chapter. It took me a while to get it started, but I think it turned out pretty decent. This is completely unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine. And I finally figured out how to use italics, so that's exciting! I promise not to go overboard. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Are you sure you can do this?” Zayn asked as he flicked his friend’s hair out of his eyes. Louis looked exhausted, and Zayn was sure he wasn’t looking too good himself. They hadn’t really had time to sleep after they got back from the hospital, and Louis had spent the last two hours alternating between crying into Zayn’s shoulder and showering more times than Zayn thought was possible in such a short period of time. Louis gave him a tight smile before turning back to the mirror to make sure that he had covered the bruises on his face and the raw redness around his eyes to the best of his ability. The little ones around his mouth from where Harry had clamped his hand over it were virtually invisible unless someone knew they were there, but the one on the side of his face still stood out quite a bit. Hopefully Lou could cover it when they got to the radio station.

“Yeah. I’ll just make sure to get a window seat in the car, and you’ll sit next to me. And if anyone asks questions, we already have out story straight. It’ll be fine,” Louis said softly as he walked out of the bathroom and headed to the door. “Are you sure _you_ can do this?” Zayn scrunched up his eyebrows, slightly confused by the question, as he double checked to make sure he had their room key.

“I’ll be fine, Lou. I’m not the one that was hurt.” Louis stopped and turned to look at the younger boy as he reached for the door knob.

“No, I mean do you think you can do this without beating the shit out of Harry to minute you see him? ‘Cos that would be a bit hard to explain away.” As much as that was exactly what Zayn wanted to do, he wouldn’t. It would take everything in him to stop himself, but he would. That wasn’t what Louis needed right now.

“I promise, Lou, I’m not gonna lose my cool. Now, c'mon, we were supposed to be out there five minutes ago.” Louis gave him another small smile and then took a deep breath before opening the door. The rest of the boys and Paul were already waiting by the elevator when they left their room. Harry was running his fingers through his hair and saying something that had Niall and Liam cracking up. Louis tensed slightly when he saw the curly haired boy, but otherwise gave no indication that something was wrong. Zayn simply squeezed his hand before slinging his arm over Louis’ shoulders.

“So, you blacked out, and woke up naked on the floor with no idea how you even got back to the hotel? What the fuck did you do last night, Haz?” Niall asked through barks of laughter that Zayn could tell was bothering Harry, probably due to the hangover he undoubtedly had. Good.

“No idea, man, but my head hurts like a bitch. I probably pissed Lou off though, ‘cos he was gone when I woke up this morning.” Niall laughed again at that, nearly knocking himself over, and Zayn noticed Paul discreetly glaring at the back of Harry’s head.

“Speak of the devil; Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have finally decided to grace us with their presence!” Liam called out when he finally noticed them making their way towards the group. Louis’ tensed again when everyone’s attention turned to them, before fixing his face into a smirk.

“Good to see that you’ve finally accepted that we are the most beautiful creatures to ever walk this Earth, Li. I’ve been waiting for you to catch on to that. I really am quite flawless. And Zayn’s not too bad himself. Would you peasants like to bow down to our greatness now or later?” Niall burst out laughing again. Zayn shot Louis a small smile that was almost genuinely returned as they walked the rest of the distance towards the band. Zayn would never question Louis’ acting skills again.

“Are you limping, Lou? And is that a bruise on you face? What the hell happened?” Liam fired off rapidly as Louis and Zayn got close enough for the other boys to get a good look at them. He switched into full mother hen mode as worry filled his eyes and he reached out to grab Louis’ chin to get a better angle to look at the ugly splotch on the shorter boy’s face. Louis tensed again, but Liam didn’t seem to notice. Louis’ eyes flitted towards Zayn, and they both froze. They knew what they were supposed to say. They had talked about it, but the lie was stuck in both of their throats. It seemed so much easier when they were in the hotel room alone.

“These two bloody idiots woke me up at four o’clock in the damn morning for an impromptu hospital visit because Sleeping Beauty injured himself while him and Snow White were working out the kinks to another one of their pranks. Bloody geniuses I tell ya. Now, they’ll tell you the details on the way to the car. We’re running late.” Louis and Zayn shot Paul a grateful look. The worry in Liam’s eyes intensified at the mention of the hospital, but he let go of Louis’ face and they all piled into the elevator.

“The hospital’s pretty serious, Lou. Are you ok?” Niall asked as he nudged Louis gently with his elbow. The older boy shot him an over exaggerated smile.

“Yeah, Ni. Zayn and I were just working on a prank, which you guys are not allowed to know about, because it will be perfected. It will be one of our best yet. Anyways, I got a little excited and fell off the chair I was standing on. Hit my head on the wall and thought I broke my ankle. Zaynie here carried me to Paul like the knight in shining amour that he is. I’m thinking of sending an application to the Queen to request his knighthood. Is that how that works? Anyways, went to the hospital, my head was fine just a little bruised, and my ankle was just twisted really badly. Gave me some really good meds though. All in all, it was a successful night in my opinion. Wouldn’t you say, Z?”

“Definitely. We made a lot of progress before that, so you guys better start sleeping with one eye open.” By the time their little tale was over, they had made it to the car. Louis quickly secured his window seat, and Zayn slid in beside him before anyone else got the chance. The boys were still laughing about Louis and Zayn’s fabricated escapades, when Harry leaned forwards from the seat behind them and clapped his hand over Louis’ shoulder, squeezing in what was supposed to be a comforting way. Louis’ hand immediately shot out to squeeze Zayn’s to stop the violent flinch that tried to make its way through his body.

“You need to be more careful, Lou. You’re really gonna hurt yourself one day.” Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to will himself to relax and not start hyperventilating. He let out the breath and squeezed Zayn’s hand tighter.

“I know, H-Haz. I will be.” Harry smiled brightly, not seeming to notice the way Louis’ voice shook, and sat back in his seat. Louis’ body finally relaxed and he leaned his head onto Zayn’s shoulder.

“I think those painkillers are starting to make me drowsy,” he let out as an excuse for his suddenly subdued mood.

The rest of the day continued on in much of the same fashion. Louis pretended to be his happy over the top self when necessary. He joked through the interview like he always does, and he spun his tale about how he got his injuries every time someone asked. And if he lost the façade at any point during the day, he’d blame the painkillers and the lack of sleep he had got the night before. Zayn jumped in when he needed to, but mostly focused on making Louis look busy every time Harry got anywhere remotely near the smaller boy. When they got back to the hotel later that night after making a few appearances, Zayn quickly told the rest of the boys that Louis was going to the rooming with him for a while because they had things to work on. Liam and Niall laughed it off, and Harry just stared after Louis looking confused and a little hurt. Zayn wanted to punch him in the face.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Louis said as they walked into the hotel room, letting out a relieved sigh. Zayn wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on Louis’ shoulder.

“You don’t have to pretend around me, babe,” he murmured by Louis’ ear. Louis’ body seemed to deflate a bit. His face fell and the distressed look in his eyes that he had been trying to hide all day shone through the mask he’d been wearing.

“It was almost bloody unbearable. I wanted to rip my hair out and disappear into a corner. And, God, when he touched me, I thought I was gonna die. My skin’s crawling again just thinking about it. But it could have been worse. If you wouldn’t have been there, it would have been worse. Thank you, for being there.” Zayn squeezed Louis closer to him and kissed his hair.

“I’ll always be there. But just so you know, I think you did brilliant today.” Louis gave him a small smile before going over to his suitcase and getting his pajamas out. He changed in the bathroom, too embarrassed to let Zayn see him naked after what he saw last night, and Zayn changed in the room before getting into his bed. Ten minutes later, Louis slid into bed next to him, make up washed of his face to revel the bruises and eyes red and puffy due to the tears he shed in the solitude of the bathroom. He clicked off the lamp before laying his head on Zayn’s chest, craving the comfort he was hoping the younger boy wasn’t getting tired of providing.

“Do you think we’ll be able to keep this up?” he asked quietly as Zayn ran his fingers through his hair. Zayn was quiet for a moment, before he brought his index finger up to tap against Louis’ temple.

“Zap! We can now out bullshit the most bullshitting of bullshitters.” Louis smiled a real smile for the first time since this whole mess started and closed his eyes.

\---

They kept up their act for the next couple of months. Louis’ test results came back clean, and the pain wore off after a week and the bruises were gone after two. It was almost like it never happened. He would act like the same Louis he’d always been around the boys, even if he was short with Harry and tried to avoid being too close to him if at all possible. He was the same ball of energy during concerts. He was the same snarky, sarcastic, fun guy during interviews. No one even noticed that anything was off. Zayn and Paul would run interference when they needed to, and Zayn made sure to compensate for Louis if he was having an off day. Louis and Zayn ignored the hurt looks Harry was constantly sending their way, and it was like nothing changed at all. Except it had.

Zayn saw through the fake smiles and happiness. He saw that Louis was still crumbling to pieces in front of him. Zayn saw his face fall every night when they went back to their hotel or their bus they’d taken to keeping to themselves again. He heard Louis cry in his sleep most nights. And on really bad days, Zayn had to constantly remind the older boy to eat. Pretending to be ok was not helping his friend. The one time Zayn suggested that Louis try to find someone to talk to, he lost it. He cried and begged Zayn to not make him tell anyone else. He promised to talk to Zayn about everything. He promised that would help him.

And it did for a little while. Every night Louis would tell Zayn everything he was feeling, and Zayn could tell that it was good for him to say everything out loud. Zayn mostly just listened and reassured him when Louis needed it. But it was a lot to take in. Louis needed him, though, and he’d never turn him down. Things were starting to get better. Louis was starting to actually smile a little bit. His act was less forced around Niall and Liam. His eyes didn’t look quite as sad all the time.

And then Louis started getting sick all the time. He’d wake up and rush to the bathroom most mornings, and at first Zayn just thought his nightmares were getting bad again. But then he started throwing up during breakfast and when they passed gas stations and pretty much anytime Niall ate anything. After following Louis to the bathroom after two weeks straight of this, Zayn had had enough.

“I’m worried about you, Lou,” Zayn said as he wiped a damp paper towel over Louis’ sweaty forehead.

“I’m fine, Z. My stomach has just been really weird lately.” Louis spit into the toilet one last time before flushing it and getting up to rinse his mouth out. Zayn followed him.

“It’s been two weeks. I’m worried. So are Paul and the boys. I’m taking you to a doctor tomorrow. Don’t bother arguing.” Louis made eye contact with him through the mirror and sighed.

“Ok, fine.”

\---

That’s how they found themselves in some obscure clinic Paul found that’s used to attending to celebrity clientele. Louis was sitting on the bed with the crinkly paper bouncing his leg and twisting his fingers together over and over again while Zayn tried to distract himself with his twitter feed. It wasn’t really working. The doctor, a young pretty brunette woman, had come to take blood over thirty minutes ago, and had said it shouldn’t take that long to get the results seeing as she told the lab to put a rush on it.

“What if I’m really sick, Zayn? It’s taking a long time,” Louis’ voice was small and nervous as he fiddled with his hair. Zayn put his phone away and smiled reassuringly at the other boy.

“I’m sure you’re fine, Lou. The lab’s just probably backed up.” Louis nodded his head and started twisting his fingers again. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door, and the doctor walked back in with Louis’ chart in her hand.

“Sorry about the wait; I just wanted to thorough. Mr. Tomlinson is it ok if I ask you a few questions?” she asked as she pulled his chair up to him. Louis looked at Zayn nervously before nodding his head. “Ok, do you want your friend to go wait in the waiting room?”

“No, I want him to stay,” Louis said quickly. He needed Zayn there to calm his nerves. She nodded before flipping Louis’ chart open.

“Ok, you said you’ve been throwing up a lot, right?” Louis nodded his head.

“Yeah, every morning and when I smell certain things.” The doctor wrote something down in his chart.

“Have you been eating weird food combinations or craving certain things?” Louis thought for a second before shaking his head.

“Not really. I haven’t really had much of an appetite lately. Between the vomiting and stress.” The doctor looked a bit concerned before scribbling away in Louis’ chart.

“When he does eat, he almost always wants Asian food though,” Zayn added, and Louis smiled at him in thanks, because he hadn’t even realized that.

“Ok, now this is a bit more personal, but it’s really important. Have you been sexually active with a man recently?” Louis’ breath caught in his chest, and his heart started pounding in his ears. Why was that important? Why was she asking him that? He felt Zayn slip his hand into his, and he let out the breath he forgot he was holding. His doctor was looking at him in concern, but he couldn’t look at her. He turned his attention to the ground instead.

“Y-Yes,” he said quietly.

“And were you the one penetrated?” He squeezed Zayn’s hand tighter. Why was that any of her business?

“Yes.”

“Did he use a condom?” Zayn gasped, and Louis was sure the other boy was coming to the same realization that he was. But it couldn’t be that. It wasn’t.

“N-No.” Tears were starting to well in his eyes.

“Ok, we ran your blood three times just to be sure, and with what you’ve just told me, I’m confident the results were correct. Mr. Tomlinson, you’re pregnant. Congratulations!” She said with a smile, and Louis wanted to rip the smile right off of her face. Zayn put an arm around him and pulled him close as Louis started shaking his head.

“No, the test was wrong. I’m not. I can’t be. You’re wrong.” She frowned at him, and Louis really wanted to slap her.

“We can do an ultrasound to make sure, but I’m sure the tests were correct. Lay down and pull your shirt up.” Louis did as he was told, grabbing Zayn’s hand again. She pulled the machine over and squirted some of the gel on his stomach, before starting to move the wand around. “You see there?” She asked as she pointed to a peanut shaped mass on the screen. “That’s your baby. Wanna hear the heartbeat?” She reached towards the volume knob on the machine.

“No. I can’t.” She pulled her arm back and gave him a weird look before nodding and removing the wand. She wiped his stomach off and told him to sit back up.

“Now it looks to me like you’re about three months along. Does that sound right?” Louis nodded slowly. That was exactly right. It was three months ago yesterday that _it_ happened. “Ok. Well you’re a bit underweight, and that’s really not good for the baby. You should be showing at least a little bit by now, and you aren’t at all. So I’ll prescribe you something for the morning sickness and that should help you keep food down.”

He tuned her out after that, trusting Zayn to listen to what she was saying. Something about high-risks and helping him find a doctor for when they were back in London. How could this be happening? Call him stupid, but it never even crossed his mind that this could happen. This was supposed to be over. He was starting to get a little better. He would have been fine over time. And now he’s pregnant. With Harry’s baby.

“Lou? Lou, talk to me babe, you’re scaring me.” He looked over to Zayn, who looked panicked and close to tears, and he wondered how long he’d been calling his name. He looked over to the doctor, but she was gone.

“Where did she go?” Zayn let out a sigh of relief and ran his fingers through his hair.

“She went to go get the ultrasound pictures and your prescriptions for prenatal vitamins and the anti-nausea medicine. She’ll be back in a few minutes, and then we can leave.”

“Zayn, I’m pregnant,” Louis whispered as he put his hands over his stomach as if a bump was suddenly just going to appear out of nowhere.

“I know, Lou.” Zayn pulled the smaller boy into a hug, rubbing small circles on his back, trying to provide any comfort he could.

“Harry got me p-pregnant,” Louis’ voice cracked, and Zayn felt tears falling onto his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, Lou.” Zayn kissed his friend’s hair and pulled him closer towards him. Maybe if he held Louis tight enough, everything would be ok. But Zayn knew that wasn’t true. Louis was _not_ ok, and Zayn didn’t know what to do to fix that. He wantedto scream about how fucking unfair this is. And he wanted to kill Harry. And he wanted to build a fucking time machine and stop all of this from happening, because this isn’t fair. Louis is the best person Zayn knows, and everything in the universe keeps plotting against him. And it’s not fucking fair.

“What am I gonna do, Z?” Louis was full on sobbing now. The same rough painful sounds he was making after Zayn found him that night. A nurse slipped in and set down the sonogram pictures and the prescriptions and a few other papers on the bed before mumbling a quiet “Take your time” and leaving. Louis’ sobs slowed down to small sniffles after a few minutes. Zayn brought his hands up to wipe away the tears and push Louis’ hair out of his eyes. He tilted his head down to rest his forehead against the shorter boy’s, and looked into the watery blue eyes that used to be so full of life but seemed to be dimming by the second.

“It’s gonna be ok, Lou. I promise. We’ll think of something. And I’m gonna be here for you no matter what.” Louis sniffled and brought his hand up to wipe at his nose.

“Promise?” He was using his small voice again. The one he’d been using around Zayn for three months now. The one that broke Zayn’s heart and made him want to cry, because Louis Tomlinson has always been so loud in everything he does. He didn't know how to fix this, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying.

“Promise.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm gonna start off by saying that I'm a shit person, and I completely understand if you all hate me. It's been like twenty something years since I updated. I made the mistake of loaning my cousin my laptop at the beginning of the summer, and I didn't get it back until like a month ago. And I know I promised some people then that I would have the next chapter weeks ago, but I got about half-way through and hit some serious writer's block. But I have finally finished the chapter!! Yay! Let us rejoice! Etc! That being said, I literally just finished it, and I'm half asleep. I edited it to the best of my half-asleep ability, so I'll probably be going in and fixing some things in the morning. Just let me know if something is too blaringly horrendous. I should probably invest in a beta or something, but oh well. 
> 
> Also, I'd like to note that I know absolutely nothing about Perrie Edwards besides her name and what she looks like. Hopefully, she comes across believable enough. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading!

The ride back to the hotel they were currently staying in was filled with complete silence. Paul kept shooting worried glances in Louis’s direction via the rearview mirror, and Zayn just sat there and let the older boy squeeze his hand while he stared down at his lap, clearly still overwhelmed. Zayn could practically feel the thoughts running through his friend’s head, and he wished he could do something to help calm him down. But he didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to deal with this. Hell, he’s only twenty-one years old. How is he supposed to know how to deal with something as heavy and devastatingly life-changing as this? He squeezed Louis’s hand tighter in hopes of covering up his own internal freak out.

“We’re here boys,” Paul said as he parked the car. Zayn hadn’t even noticed them pulling into the hotel’s underground garage.

“Thanks, Paul,” he said quietly as he unbuckled his seatbelt and shook Louis a little bit to get him to do the same.

“Are you lads gonna tell me what happened? Because, I’m not going to lie, you’ve got me very worried.” Zayn gave the older man a small smile of apology and shook his head.

“Not right now. I think Lou needs a little time, but we will. I promise.” Paul nodded his head and got out of the car. Zayn followed, pulling a slightly unresponsive Louis behind him. They quickly made their way through the building and up to their room, where Louis went directly over to the closest bed (Zayn’s) and buried his face in a pillow.

“I don’t know what to do, Z,” Louis said into the pillow. Zayn sat down beside the older boy and began playing with the little hairs on the back of Louis’s neck. Zayn took a deep breath and counted to ten to calm himself down before opening his mouth.

“What about, you know, abortion?” Louis was silent for a moment before he sat up and turned to face Zayn.

“I can’t,” he finally said before running his fingers through his hair and leaning his head against Zayn’s shoulder. “I mean, I could never just kill a baby. I couldn’t live with myself, and it would eat away at me for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s for some people, and that’s fine. I’m not gonna judge anyone. But that’s not for me.” The answer didn’t shock Zayn. Giving Louis’s large family and how much he loved kids, he honestly would have been more surprised if Louis said otherwise. But Louis was looking up at Zayn almost begging for him to understand. Like he thought Zayn was going to abandon him for not wanting to abort his rapist’s baby.

“It’s ok, Lou. It was just something the doctor talked about when you zoned out. I just wanted you to know your options.” Louis nodded his head and leaned further into Zayn’s side.

“Maybe I probably should. Hell, most people probably would. And especially considering who we are and everything. But I can’t. I mean, yeah, the way it happened was fucking awful, but it’s still my baby. And I just can’t kill it.” Zayn kissed the top of the older boy’s head and nodded.

“I know, babe. I didn’t think you would go for it anyways. I just wanted you to know that I’d support you if you did. I’ll support you no matter what.” Louis reached over and squeezed the younger boy’s leg in a silent thanks. Zayn threw an arm around Louis’s shoulders and reached for the remote, turning on the television where an episode of “Friends” was playing on repeat quietly in order to give Louis an excuse to take some time to collect his thoughts. It was two episodes later before he opened his mouth again.

“What am I going to tell people, Zayn? What am I going to do when I get fat and people start asking questions? And when everyone wants to know who got me up the duff? Or what about when everyone starts calling me a slag? Or what if Harry figures out what happened? Or wh—”

“Calm down, Lou. You’re going to have a panic attack,” Zayn said firmly as he grabbed either side of the nearly hyperventilating boy’s face. Louis reached up to grip Zayn’s wrists in order to prevent the other man from letting go of him and took a few deep breaths. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Louis nodded his head and released his death grip on Zayn. It got quiet again after that. Zayn was racking his brain for something to say to reassure the older boy, but only one thing kept running through his head. It took him till halfway through the next episode to say it out loud.

“I could tell people it’s mine. The baby, that is.” Louis literally jumped in shock upon hearing the words. He turned his whole body towards the younger boy and studied his face, looking for a sign that he was joking or trying to diffuse the situation or anything. He wasn’t. Zayn looked more serious than Louis had ever seen him before.

“Zayn, you’re engaged,” Louis said slowly just in case the other boy had forgotten. Zayn sighed and ran a hand through his hair before sitting up completely and facing Louis.

“I know, but Perrie and I barely talk or see each other anymore cos we’ve both been so busy. I haven’t seen her since her birthday, and it had been months before that since we had gotten together. Hell, I don’t think we’ve called just to tell each other we love each other since right after New Year’s. We only really talk when we have to be seen together. We’ve been drifting, and we’ve both talked about calling it quits a couple of times already. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, actually. I can. And I want to. I’d do it for you. In a fucking heartbeat, Lou.” The older boy opened and shut his mouth a few times before finally settling on vigorously shaking his head.

“I’m not gonna ask you to ruin your life for me, Zayn. People are going to tear you apart for leaving your female fiancé for your male bandmate that you supposedly got pregnant. Not to mention how much shit people are going to give you when they think you cheated on Perrie. I can’t let you do that to yourself. You don’t deserve it.” Zayn let out a sigh and grabbed the other boy’s hand firmly.

“You don’t deserve any of this either, Lou. And you especially don’t deserve to have to go through this all on your own. I’ll talk to Perrie. I’ll tell her whatever I need to get her to help us out on this. We’ll figure something out to tell the press that will keep things from looking too bad. But I’m not gonna let you go through all that hate alone. I told you I’d be there for you through all of this, and I’m not backing out now. I’m doing this.” Louis stared at him for a good while, giving him the chance to change his mind, before slowly nodding his head.

“Ok. But you can tell Perrie the truth. I don’t want you to have to lie to her, and I don’t want her to be any more hurt than she has to. Just maybe leave out the part about it being Harry. I don’t think I’m ready for anybody else to know that.” Zayn leaned forward to kiss the smaller boy’s head and gave him a small smile.

“Of course. I’ll call her later and see when she’s free to meet up. I’m pretty sure she’ll be at the flat for the next couple of days. I’ll probably just fly home for a day or two. However long it takes to get everything sorted.” Louis nodded again and tried to blink back the tears that were forming in his eyes again. He honestly didn’t know what he had ever done to deserve a friend as fiercely loyal as Zayn, but he was eternally grateful to the other man.

“Thank you so much,” Louis said softly as he leaned back into Zayn’s shoulder. The dark haired boy swiped his hand through the air as if you say “don’t worry about it” and settled back into the bed and their “Friends” marathon. They didn’t move until it was time to get ready to head to that night’s concert venue.

\---

Two days later, after making sure that Liam was spending the day out with Louis far away from Harry, Perrie greeted Zayn with a small, lopsided smile in the kitchen of their shared flat that they rarely were ever in at the same time. He kissed her on the cheek before throwing his rucksack on the couch and going to make himself a cup of tea. She watched him silently until he finished up and sat down across from her at the table. She put the spoon she was using to eat her cereal down and pushed her bangs out of her face before leveling him with a questioning look.

“So, wanna clue me in as to why you flew all the way here from America just to talk to me, because I know it’s not just because you missed me. Could of just skyped or something for that,” she said with a small, knowing smile on her face. She was not wearing her engagement ring, which wasn’t surprising. The only time he ever saw it on her anymore was in public. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, and she laughed quietly. “So that’s why you’re here. We’re really gonna do it this time?”

“Yeah, Pez. It’s time. We both know this has been over for months. I love you, and I always will. But I don’t think I’ve been in love with you in a long time.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing slightly. When he looked up, her smile was as radiant as ever.

“Well, that’s good to hear, love. While I still adore you, I don’t think I’ve been in love with you in quite some time either. But, Z, we’ve talked about this a hundred times. I really don’t think it warranted a plane ride half way around the world. You really could have just called. I mean, we can figure out who gets to keep what once you’re done with your tour.” She squeezed his hand again before turning her attention back to her cereal. He laughed quietly, and grabbed her hand again to get her attention.

“I know, babe. That’s not the only reason I’m here. I actually have a really big favor to ask you.” Perrie smirked at him before getting up and putting her bowl in the sink.

“So not only are you here to dump me, but you want to hit me up for favors, too? Darling, your etiquette is abysmal,” she laughed as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail.

“Perrie, this is serious. I really need you to help me out.” The smile slipped off of her face, and she sat back down at the table.

“Are you in some kind of trouble, love?” Zayn shrugged and then shook his head. “What happened, Zayn?” He took a few minutes to think about what exactly he was gonna say before he opened his mouth.

“Something happened to Louis,” was what he finally settled on. Perrie sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it, the way she always did when she was thinking about what to say.

“Is he ok?” she asked quietly, already knowing the answer. Why the hell else would Zayn have come?

“No, he’s really not,” he whispered as he buried his face into his hands and took a deep breath. Perrie moved her chair around to his side of the table, and sat down next to him. She ran her nails back fourth over his back, something that had always calmed him down in the past, and waited for him to go on. After a few minutes of silence, she realized he wasn’t going to do so on his own.

“Babe, I’m gonna need a little more than that if you need me to help you,” she said gently. He took a sip of his tea to kill a few more seconds and turned his attention to his ex-fiancé.

“Someone hurt Lou, like really bad, Pez. And now he’s pregnant,” he stated matter-of-factly, trying to avoid getting emotional. He watched as the emotions flashed across Perrie’s face: confusion, realization, shock, and, finally, anger. She shot up, pushing her chair onto the ground behind her, and started pacing the kitchen.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! He was raped?! Please tell me that the reason you need help is that you killed that bastard and you need an alibi or something.” Her cheeks were flushed red, and her eyes were flashing dangerously. And Zayn wanted to tell her so bad what an absolute bag of shit Harry was, and every reason Zayn couldn’t kill him despite how much he really, really wanted to. But he couldn’t. He promised Louis he wouldn’t mention Harry, and he wasn’t going to break that promise. So he twisted the truth a bit. He was becoming a master at that. 

"No, we don’t know who did it. Someone broke into his hotel room in the middle of the night and attacked him. I found him afterwards, and it was awful. And he’s been a fucking wreck ever since, and now this happens. He doesn’t fucking deserve this, Pez.” He felt tears building up behind his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them out. He was fine. He really needed to quit acting like he was the one that was hurting in this situation. Perrie stopped her frantic pacing and walked over towards Zayn, sitting in his lap and wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“I know, babe,” she said as she rested her chin on top of his head. “Who all knows?”

“Just me and Paul. He never wanted anyone else to know. We’ve been keeping it under wraps for months, but he won’t be able to do that much longer. He’s terrified of this getting out and the media ripping him apart. He can’t deal with the whole fucking world knowing what happened to him. Once he starts showing, he can’t hide the baby, and he’s so scared of being called a whore in the press. I can’t let him go through that on top of everything else he’s going through.” Perrie was silent for a few moments before she cleared her throat and pulled back a little bit. She scratched at the small hairs at the base of his skull, and gave him a tiny smile.

“You’re going to tell people the baby’s yours,” she said softly. She really did know him so well. Zayn shot her a guilty look and averted his gaze to an interesting speck of dirt on their kitchen floor.

“Yeah, but w—”

“We called it quits back in February, but we didn’t want to make a big deal out of it until both of our schedules calmed down.” His head snapped up and confusion flashed over his face, trying to remember when that happened.

“What? When did we—”

“That’s what we’ll tell people when they start accusing you of cheating and Lou of being the ‘other woman’. We broke it off in Feburary, you and Lou started dating a few months after that, and I am completely and one hundred percent behind you two as a couple. And that’s all anyone needs to know.” Zayn felt a few tears escape from his eyes. He honestly couldn’t believe how fucking amazing this woman was. She was wonderful and kind, and Zayn really never deserved her in the first place.

“Thank you. So much. You really don’t know how much this means to me and Lou that you’ll back us up on this. I owe you.” He hoped his sincerity showed on his face, because he would never be able pay her back for what she was doing for him. She rolled her eyes and smacked him on the chest.

“You don’t owe me anything, you stupid twat. Just take care of Lou, yeah? Don’t let him forget how much everyone loves him. No matter what.” He sighed and leaned his forehead onto her shoulder.

“I’m trying my best on that one,” he muttered lowly. She lifted his head up and kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re a good friend, Zayn. If I hadn’t already been there and done that, I might just fall in love with you again for what you’re doing to protect him.” The bout of laughter that came from him took him by surprise. He gently pushed her out of his lap and stood up.

“Oi, you had your chance woman!” She let out a fake cry of despair before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the living room.

“Com’on, let’s watch a bunch of shitty rom-coms to celebrate the end of our relationship until it’s time for you to get back to your boy.” Zayn rolled his eyes and let her drag him to the couch. She started up some shit chick-flick he had never heard of and sat on the opposite side of the couch, throwing her legs into his lap. They got about half through before she opened her mouth again.

“So, I guess you’re gonna be someone’s dad.” He hadn’t really thought about it like that yet. He didn’t really think past getting Perrie to lie for them really. But she was right. Even if it was just for the media, he was gonna be a dad. And he had already promised to be there for Louis every step of the way, so basically he’d be doing dad-like things. And that was just fucking weird. He was gonna be Louis’s kid’s dad. And, strangely enough, that thought didn’t scare him out nearly as much as it should have.

“Yeah, I guess I kind of am.” Perrie was polite enough to not point out the small grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to let me know what you think!! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to let me know what you think!


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